Hello everyone, today I'll be your guest Russian host. Here's your new product, look at it and leave me alone! I'm busy eating vodka and drinking borscht. In the dacha. After the banya. (Is that good enough for Russian stereotypes?) Right about now the most observant of you might notice that something is wrong with […]
PIMP YO' SUMO!
Dave Hrynkiw
April 1, 2009
The biggest complaint we've ever had is that the Sumovore is boring. I mean, yeah, it can beat the tar out of most other sumos in the ring without batting an eye. But it's just so boring to watch. It'd be funner to watch the paint dry on a pot of boiling water. So, after listening to you, our faithful customers, we've come up with a solution. It's time to... Pimp yo' Sumo. That's right. What the Sumovore is obviously missing is some big, phat rims and some sweet sweet underglow. Now you'll win in the ring because the other bots won't even try. They know that they've already been outclassed and outgunned. There ain't no sane competitor who'll roll into the ring when their opponent is sittin' all stylish-like. "Where do I get some of this awesome, awesome goodness?" you ask. For a limited time only you can get your own Sumovore Pimpin' Upgrade for just $3.95. It includes:
- Two big, white and pimpin' spinners (with pimpin' mounting screws)
- An ultra-bright, pimpin'-green LED
- A pimpin' 150ohm resistor
- Five pimpin' inches of wire
Better grab it quick - quantities are limited. We can't let just anybody get their hands on something this fantastic!
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Warning: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.
Please visit www.P65Warnings.ca.gov for more information. This item was manufactured prior to August 31, 2018.